marie is not here today. she had a conference to go to. her absence was most noticed when i made my ham sandwich and realized that i didnt have a drink to go with it. (because every single day marie brings me a drink from dipper's).
so...against my better judgement (because i am so very cheap), i scrounge the change together to go get a coke out of the machine. i have what i believe to be barely enough. on the way to the coke machine i pass the snack machine. i make the mistake of glancing it's way. FRICK ON A STICK, THEY HAVE SOUR CREAM AND ONION CHIPS! they never have SOUR CREAM AND ONION! i nervously look at the change in my hand. there is a decision to be made and...yep thats right, i am just that fat, i went with the chips!
now you're probably saying, "wait, but wern't you concerned with needing a drink when it was just the sandwich? now you're planning on chips too and you still dont have a beverage? is that smart?" but you don't understand, they're SOUR CREAM AND ONION! so i take the plunge and put my money in and push B4....it whirls and whirls and...my SOUR CREAM AND ONION gets stuck on the mechanism...i mentally stomp my foot and consider trying to rock the machine until i remember all the horror stories of people being squashed under machines they were trying to rock for things less than SOUR CREAM AND ONION even...
i silently and defeatedly walk back to my office. i have no more change. i have no drink and i have no SOUR CREAM AND ONION. then i have a PLAN! i cant get into marie's office because it's locked but if i could find a master key...she always has change laying around and she always tells me i can help myself if i need some for the machine...so...i go on a hunt for a master key. most people at this point would have just given up but I AM JUST THAT FAT.
so i finally find an important person with a key and i break in. i steal enough change (with a mental I.O.U.), to not only ransom my SOUR CREAM AND ONION but to also get an icy cold beverage. i lock the door, return the key and head back out. i go to the coke machine. i have $1.10 in change. the chips are $0.50 and the cokes are $0.60 cents (or so i thought).
i stare at the coke machine. SIXTY FIVE EFFING CENTS. if i spend 65 cents i'll not have enough for the chips...BEAVER DAMMMMMMMMM IT!!!!!!!!! so i did the only logical thing to do, i forgot the coke, and bought the chips and since i already had a bag hanging in the balance i got two. 2 BAGS OF SOUR CREAM AND ONION!
i was giddy happy until i remembered that it meant that i had a ham sandwich and 2 bags of chips and still no drink...not a very good combination for NOT choking...
Showing posts with label cheapness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheapness. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
You Know You Have a Problem When...
I am admittedly cheap. Everyone who knows me knows this. I love a good bargain and my heart leaps at the word "CLEARANCE".
I was looking through the petco sales paper just now and on the back page I saw parakeets advertised for ONLY $12.00! And my first thought was "crap, that's cheap, I may need to get some..."
It was then that I realized that I was talking about PARAKEETS. LIVE BIRDS. Do I want birds? No. Do I have any desire to house them? Absolutely not. But I was still so shaken by their "rock bottom price" that I, for a fleeting second, I considered stocking up...
It was then that I had a realization, I May Just Have a Problem...
I was looking through the petco sales paper just now and on the back page I saw parakeets advertised for ONLY $12.00! And my first thought was "crap, that's cheap, I may need to get some..."
It was then that I realized that I was talking about PARAKEETS. LIVE BIRDS. Do I want birds? No. Do I have any desire to house them? Absolutely not. But I was still so shaken by their "rock bottom price" that I, for a fleeting second, I considered stocking up...
It was then that I had a realization, I May Just Have a Problem...
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Power of...Brain Power...x's 3...
Mom (Lorri), Angela and me have went coupon crazy. (As many of you already know). But we have realized that couponing is hard. It takes perseverance...it takes strategy...it takes brain power. And we have also realized that we don't have enough brain power alone, we must unite our brains to come up with one usable brain that is capable of true couponing genius...
Latest example: Last night kroger's was out of carnation evaporated milk that was on sale. This was a bummer because we were expecting to get it for free...here's how: it's normal price is $1.24. It was on sale for $1.00. But it was also part of the MEGA 10 DEAL where if you bought 10 items you got an additional $5.00 off your order. So if you bought 10 cans when you calculate that, it makes them $0.50 a can. HOWEVER we also had several coupons that were $0.50 off of 2 AND because kroger's doubles coupons that would make it $1.00 off of 2 and since we were getting them for $0.50 each that would make them free...now since they were out, we all got rainchecks and the rainchecks were written "each can $0.50 each". For some reason this blew our mind, our coupons went out of our brain window and we were mad thinking we were going to have the buy the milk for $0.50 a can...still a good deal but not free...
It took us 3 brains, 13 hours, a night's sleep, 3 phone calls and 1 voicemail later to realize that we would in fact still be able to obtain them for free...after using our coupons...
I'm glad we have each other because...well...I'm just not sure that any of us are smart enough to do this alone...
Latest example: Last night kroger's was out of carnation evaporated milk that was on sale. This was a bummer because we were expecting to get it for free...here's how: it's normal price is $1.24. It was on sale for $1.00. But it was also part of the MEGA 10 DEAL where if you bought 10 items you got an additional $5.00 off your order. So if you bought 10 cans when you calculate that, it makes them $0.50 a can. HOWEVER we also had several coupons that were $0.50 off of 2 AND because kroger's doubles coupons that would make it $1.00 off of 2 and since we were getting them for $0.50 each that would make them free...now since they were out, we all got rainchecks and the rainchecks were written "each can $0.50 each". For some reason this blew our mind, our coupons went out of our brain window and we were mad thinking we were going to have the buy the milk for $0.50 a can...still a good deal but not free...
It took us 3 brains, 13 hours, a night's sleep, 3 phone calls and 1 voicemail later to realize that we would in fact still be able to obtain them for free...after using our coupons...
I'm glad we have each other because...well...I'm just not sure that any of us are smart enough to do this alone...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
You're like a homeless person...but with a home...
"You're a scavenger...you're like a homeless person...but with a home...and a job and a baby." That was the random quote that one of the deputies slapped me in the face with today when I merely mentioned that Shane's was giving away free chicken tenders if you brought in your "I VOTED" sticker.
Yes, I am like a scavenger. I'm just about the cheapest person you'll ever meet but who would turn down FREE CHICKEN?!
Now I can't honestly say that this quote came unprovoked, as every single day that I've seen him for the last week I've boasted about some kind of deal that I got for free...and okay maybe that does make me sound a little pathetic especially when you pair it with the fact that I told him about how I sometimes dumpster dive for coupons...BUT STILL...
KNOW THIS DEPUTY TYLER HENRY, I will no longer be sharing with you any of my fabulous finds and I hope that you always have to pay full price for your chicken as long as you live...
Harsh, I know but this idle threat comes with no fear of repercussion as he informed me he would never read my blog because he has no desire to read about "kittens and fluffy babies" or something like that and incidentally those happen to be my favorite subjects...
Yes, I am like a scavenger. I'm just about the cheapest person you'll ever meet but who would turn down FREE CHICKEN?!
Now I can't honestly say that this quote came unprovoked, as every single day that I've seen him for the last week I've boasted about some kind of deal that I got for free...and okay maybe that does make me sound a little pathetic especially when you pair it with the fact that I told him about how I sometimes dumpster dive for coupons...BUT STILL...
KNOW THIS DEPUTY TYLER HENRY, I will no longer be sharing with you any of my fabulous finds and I hope that you always have to pay full price for your chicken as long as you live...
Harsh, I know but this idle threat comes with no fear of repercussion as he informed me he would never read my blog because he has no desire to read about "kittens and fluffy babies" or something like that and incidentally those happen to be my favorite subjects...
Friday, October 31, 2008
My email RANT to Ingle's
(this post is an email comment in it's entirety left by ME for the Ingle's company, reference my several different rants and grievances I've had with them lately. I plan to post the response (if I get one). If you get bored easily and don't appreciate a good gripe, skip ahead to next post to find out that Dudley's a girl...)
I just wanted to first commend your corporation for having quality food at competitive prices. Going to Ingles used to be a treat since you offer a wide variety of different type foods HOWEVER my last two shopping experiences in the last two weeks have almost persuaded me to stick to Kroger and other competitors such as our local J&J.
I had received a coupon in the mail from the Purina company inviting me to try a new cat litter. The coupon was for one (1) free bag of Yesterday's News Cat Litter (value up to $6.99). When I went to purchase this (along with lots of other groceries), I was told you don't take "internet coupons" for free items. I explained that it wasn't an internet coupon and that the company had sent it to me in the mail. The cashier called the manager(I think she was the manager) over (Amy) and she said the same thing. I again explained it wasn't an internet coupon (it was on security backed paper and to me did not look like something that would be interpreted as a "fake" or a "printout"). Amy responded with "well it looks like an internet coupon." I just kept my coupon (and redeemed it at J&J) and asked Ingle's to take the litter off my order. There was also a bag of cat food that had rung up a different price than what was marked on the shelf and when I questioned it the manager? (Amy) was very snippy and rude.
I chalked this up to "everyone has a bad day" and tried not to let this experience ruin my opinion about your store.
Last night I was shopping with my mom, baby and friend. I was disappointed because the 9-Lives cat food that had been advertised for two weeks as being on sale, wasn't there. I could see where there had been some on the shelf but they were gone. (This was also the case last week when I went specifically for that cat food...I'm not sure if maybe they just had so few bags or if maybe I just keep going after everyone else cleans them out...).
We all got several things and proceeded to check out. My friend was in a separate line than us and she got done before us. She walked over and told me to check what my Michelina's frozen dinners were ringing up because her's rung up wrong. (They were supposed to be 5/$5 and her's were ringing up $1.25 each-normal price). (There was a large sign on the freezer door). Mine had also rung up wrong. I pointed this out to the cashier and he called Amy. (My friend informed me later that when her cashier had called her over that she had been very rude and wouldn't take her word for it and went to check herself. Okay fine but when she came back she was very hateful and said "those weren't on sale the sign says "assorted varieties" and it doesn't include those. Really? They were the pizza rolls and buffalo chicken variety...So the sale was for the lasagna only? If that was true shouldn't the sign have said "select varieties"? Minor detail but she said she would adjust the price. (Which I'm pretty sure was supposed to be the "sale price" anyway). So when she (Amy), got called to my register she really wasn't happy, slamming my boxes, and muttering things). After that I handed the cashier my coupons. (Not an excessive amount and not to exceed your strict coupon policy). He looked shocked and exclaimed to Amy "she's got coupons too!!!" like maybe I was the cheapest person he had ever met (and I very well might be, lol)! Amy looked confused and told him that was okay. (Again I'm not sure why he was so shocked).
So considering the several different cases of rude customer service, having to figure out exactly how many coupons i am actually allowed to use on a certain order and the fact that a lot of your sales seem to be gone by the time I make it to the store I think Kroger and J&J are a better fit for me. I might not find the exotic choices that I have at Ingles but in my opinion customer service and helpfulness more than make up the difference!
I'm sure this is not the norm for all of your stores, I guess I am just unfortunate that this is the case for the store closest to me, (Dawsonville, Georgia). I am in no way trying to get anyone in trouble and I'm not even saying I'm boycotting your store. It's hard to keep a REAL CHEAPSKATE like me away if there's a super sale but for the most part I'll be frequenting friendlier stores! I sincerely hope that maybe these incidents were isolated and hopefully other people are enjoying the Ingle's Advantage!
Thanks for your time,
Shannon Sexton
I just wanted to first commend your corporation for having quality food at competitive prices. Going to Ingles used to be a treat since you offer a wide variety of different type foods HOWEVER my last two shopping experiences in the last two weeks have almost persuaded me to stick to Kroger and other competitors such as our local J&J.
I had received a coupon in the mail from the Purina company inviting me to try a new cat litter. The coupon was for one (1) free bag of Yesterday's News Cat Litter (value up to $6.99). When I went to purchase this (along with lots of other groceries), I was told you don't take "internet coupons" for free items. I explained that it wasn't an internet coupon and that the company had sent it to me in the mail. The cashier called the manager(I think she was the manager) over (Amy) and she said the same thing. I again explained it wasn't an internet coupon (it was on security backed paper and to me did not look like something that would be interpreted as a "fake" or a "printout"). Amy responded with "well it looks like an internet coupon." I just kept my coupon (and redeemed it at J&J) and asked Ingle's to take the litter off my order. There was also a bag of cat food that had rung up a different price than what was marked on the shelf and when I questioned it the manager? (Amy) was very snippy and rude.
I chalked this up to "everyone has a bad day" and tried not to let this experience ruin my opinion about your store.
Last night I was shopping with my mom, baby and friend. I was disappointed because the 9-Lives cat food that had been advertised for two weeks as being on sale, wasn't there. I could see where there had been some on the shelf but they were gone. (This was also the case last week when I went specifically for that cat food...I'm not sure if maybe they just had so few bags or if maybe I just keep going after everyone else cleans them out...).
We all got several things and proceeded to check out. My friend was in a separate line than us and she got done before us. She walked over and told me to check what my Michelina's frozen dinners were ringing up because her's rung up wrong. (They were supposed to be 5/$5 and her's were ringing up $1.25 each-normal price). (There was a large sign on the freezer door). Mine had also rung up wrong. I pointed this out to the cashier and he called Amy. (My friend informed me later that when her cashier had called her over that she had been very rude and wouldn't take her word for it and went to check herself. Okay fine but when she came back she was very hateful and said "those weren't on sale the sign says "assorted varieties" and it doesn't include those. Really? They were the pizza rolls and buffalo chicken variety...So the sale was for the lasagna only? If that was true shouldn't the sign have said "select varieties"? Minor detail but she said she would adjust the price. (Which I'm pretty sure was supposed to be the "sale price" anyway). So when she (Amy), got called to my register she really wasn't happy, slamming my boxes, and muttering things). After that I handed the cashier my coupons. (Not an excessive amount and not to exceed your strict coupon policy). He looked shocked and exclaimed to Amy "she's got coupons too!!!" like maybe I was the cheapest person he had ever met (and I very well might be, lol)! Amy looked confused and told him that was okay. (Again I'm not sure why he was so shocked).
So considering the several different cases of rude customer service, having to figure out exactly how many coupons i am actually allowed to use on a certain order and the fact that a lot of your sales seem to be gone by the time I make it to the store I think Kroger and J&J are a better fit for me. I might not find the exotic choices that I have at Ingles but in my opinion customer service and helpfulness more than make up the difference!
I'm sure this is not the norm for all of your stores, I guess I am just unfortunate that this is the case for the store closest to me, (Dawsonville, Georgia). I am in no way trying to get anyone in trouble and I'm not even saying I'm boycotting your store. It's hard to keep a REAL CHEAPSKATE like me away if there's a super sale but for the most part I'll be frequenting friendlier stores! I sincerely hope that maybe these incidents were isolated and hopefully other people are enjoying the Ingle's Advantage!
Thanks for your time,
Shannon Sexton
Friday, October 24, 2008
YOU NEED TO CHECK IT OUT
CHECK HER OUT --------------> http://jane4girls800dollarannualbudget.blogspot.com/
i just discovered her blog today so im not that familiar with, but apparently she documents every shopping trip and tells about her purchases and blogs about her savings. she also had some awesome recipies most of which are made to cook in bulk and freeze for later...AWESOME.
love,
shannon
i just discovered her blog today so im not that familiar with, but apparently she documents every shopping trip and tells about her purchases and blogs about her savings. she also had some awesome recipies most of which are made to cook in bulk and freeze for later...AWESOME.
love,
shannon
Friday, October 17, 2008
When I Place an Order My Name Now Comes Up: PLEASE SPIT IN HER FOOD...A LOT
I hate papa john's. I really hate it. I don't like the pizza, the topping selection annoys me and the customer service sucks. "Why do I keep ordering from there?" you might ask. Basically because it's not quite as bad as dominoes and it's cheaper than pizza hut. In case you haven't noticed from my last forty posts, I. AM. CHEAP.
So because we had company coming I decided that I'd give it another try. I was tempted to order pizza hut...but, well you know...
So I looked online before we left the house to see what we wanted. I decided on "the special". Now let me also mention that I have a booster card that enables me to "buy one get one free" at papa john's. From previous experience I knew that I couldn't use the card in addition to the "special" but I also knew that they could sell me one pizza at regular price and I could get the other one free.
So we leave the house and I start my errands. About half way through I call to order the pizza. I ask about the "special" and am told that, that is an "internet special" and has to be ordered online. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?! No they were in fact not kidding but very serious I had to order online. UGH. So while on the phone I asked about the booster card. Yes I was reassured I could use the card and get charged regular price with one free and the total would be $16.99. Okay $16.99 for two pizzas, I could handle that. I mean it's cheaper than pizza hut but probably that's because pizza hut's two main ingredients aren't CARDBOARD & CRAP.
So I hang up, drive to my office, (out of my way) and order the pizza ONLINE as instructed and then waited around for at least 20 minutes. All the while Cooper is blissfully sleeping in the car but at the dangerous point of "could wake up any time and scream for hours". Also Stephie was in the van with him, no I did not leave him alone!
After what seems like forever, I get to papa john's. I go in and a worker shuffles to the front counter. Yes shuffles. No, he is not old. He gives me the total and of course it's wrong. I explain to him that I had the booster card and I was told that I could pay full price for one and get the other for free. He grimaces like his life is over and pushes some buttons and then says "I don't think I can do that because you ordered online." "REALLY!" Then I say "well I tried my DARNDEST to order on the phone and was told that I HAD to order online." "Hmmm" he says "hang on, maybe this will work. Okay I got it to go through." "Excellent" I hissed. "$21.08." I asked "so one is $16.99, the other is free and the extra sauce is $0.49 right?" He nodded. I handed him my debit card all the while thinking that sounded too high but since my math sucks and since "math in my head" sucks even more I waited until I got my receipt.
Sure enough they had charged me $18.39 for the pizza. SIGH. The shuffler had already shuffled his way to the back to do some other duty with the basic ability of a slug. I got someone else's attention, showed them the receipt and then explained what was going on. He looked confused, looked at the register, looked at the menu board and then desperately looked around for the shuffler. Finally the non-old man slowly made his way back up to the front SERIOUSLY KID, PICK UP YOUR FEET AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!!
He looked at the register, looked at the menu board and said "I guess the pizza is $18.39, that's what the receipt says"...(On the menu board the price for that "special" wasn't up there...of course). "You said it was $16.99. The girl on the phone said it was $16.99". "I guess that was wrong because the register says $18.39". I just wanted to scream, "WHY ARE YOU A MORON...with two FAKE gimp legs?!?!" Then he says "hang on let me do something for you." "Finally, I thought, maybe he's going to adjust the price or give me a credit on my next visit for $2.00 or SOMETHING". Instead he shuffled (I kid you not), to the other register and printed me out another receipt. WHAT?! How in the FLOCK does that help in the least?! I already have a receipt, it has the wrong total on it.
So because we had company coming I decided that I'd give it another try. I was tempted to order pizza hut...but, well you know...
So I looked online before we left the house to see what we wanted. I decided on "the special". Now let me also mention that I have a booster card that enables me to "buy one get one free" at papa john's. From previous experience I knew that I couldn't use the card in addition to the "special" but I also knew that they could sell me one pizza at regular price and I could get the other one free.
So we leave the house and I start my errands. About half way through I call to order the pizza. I ask about the "special" and am told that, that is an "internet special" and has to be ordered online. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?! No they were in fact not kidding but very serious I had to order online. UGH. So while on the phone I asked about the booster card. Yes I was reassured I could use the card and get charged regular price with one free and the total would be $16.99. Okay $16.99 for two pizzas, I could handle that. I mean it's cheaper than pizza hut but probably that's because pizza hut's two main ingredients aren't CARDBOARD & CRAP.
So I hang up, drive to my office, (out of my way) and order the pizza ONLINE as instructed and then waited around for at least 20 minutes. All the while Cooper is blissfully sleeping in the car but at the dangerous point of "could wake up any time and scream for hours". Also Stephie was in the van with him, no I did not leave him alone!
After what seems like forever, I get to papa john's. I go in and a worker shuffles to the front counter. Yes shuffles. No, he is not old. He gives me the total and of course it's wrong. I explain to him that I had the booster card and I was told that I could pay full price for one and get the other for free. He grimaces like his life is over and pushes some buttons and then says "I don't think I can do that because you ordered online." "REALLY!" Then I say "well I tried my DARNDEST to order on the phone and was told that I HAD to order online." "Hmmm" he says "hang on, maybe this will work. Okay I got it to go through." "Excellent" I hissed. "$21.08." I asked "so one is $16.99, the other is free and the extra sauce is $0.49 right?" He nodded. I handed him my debit card all the while thinking that sounded too high but since my math sucks and since "math in my head" sucks even more I waited until I got my receipt.
Sure enough they had charged me $18.39 for the pizza. SIGH. The shuffler had already shuffled his way to the back to do some other duty with the basic ability of a slug. I got someone else's attention, showed them the receipt and then explained what was going on. He looked confused, looked at the register, looked at the menu board and then desperately looked around for the shuffler. Finally the non-old man slowly made his way back up to the front SERIOUSLY KID, PICK UP YOUR FEET AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!!
He looked at the register, looked at the menu board and said "I guess the pizza is $18.39, that's what the receipt says"...(On the menu board the price for that "special" wasn't up there...of course). "You said it was $16.99. The girl on the phone said it was $16.99". "I guess that was wrong because the register says $18.39". I just wanted to scream, "WHY ARE YOU A MORON...with two FAKE gimp legs?!?!" Then he says "hang on let me do something for you." "Finally, I thought, maybe he's going to adjust the price or give me a credit on my next visit for $2.00 or SOMETHING". Instead he shuffled (I kid you not), to the other register and printed me out another receipt. WHAT?! How in the FLOCK does that help in the least?! I already have a receipt, it has the wrong total on it.
So I gave up, defeated. I took my overcharged, cold cardboard and crap and went home with it. I was tired. I was hungry. I let them win.
I will give papa john's props for one thing. I do like how they push condiments. I love condiments and have been dipping my pizza in marinara or ranch since before it was cool. And if you're a condiment lover like me or a fat kid, as much as you hate to admit it you have to admire a place that will ENCOURAGE you and persuade you to dip pizza (probably the greasiest, fattiest food known to man) into a small container of pure butter.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Do you even know where THAT goes?!
(a post from yesterday)
As I sit here and write this I feel like a CRAP-A-DOODLE. In case you aren't familiar with that term it technically means "feeling really crappy and probably on the brink of death".
Even though I'm pretty sure it's fairy warm outside I have my office heater on because I'm chilling. I can barely open my eyes because my head hurts and ears are popping and my throat sucks really bad. Also my back hurts, my legs and feet are throbbing and my uterus is trying to single handedly kill me. Now if that doesn't define CRAP-A-DOODLE I don't know what would.
The first symptoms were my back and uterus so I blamed my period. (Which I now don't feel is completely at fault although it surely isn't helping). Next my head, eyes and ears exploded, to which I attributed to the fact that I lost my contacts this morning and was wearing my sucky glasses. Later I got more contacts, head still exploding. Then I figured that Craig had conveniently passed his germs to me since he went to the doctor today to find out he doesn't have strep, but some type of virus. Now with my legs, feet and the chilling I'm wondering if maybe it's not my very own version of the flu...
Yuck.
I very rarely get sick so when I do I guess I'm kind of a whiner. Okay I know I'm very much a whiner. But anyway, so Craig was at walmart getting his meds and I asked him if he would pick me up a box of tampons. All the while I've been complaining of how bad I feel and the fact that everything hurts and useful trivia like that. So Craig finds the specific box that I want and I ask how much it is. "$4.57." "WHAT?! For a tiny box like that?!" Craig is now fumbling through all the tampon boxes making sure he hasn't accidentally picked up the size labeled "GIANT ECONOMY, WILL LAST UNTIL MENOPAUSE". "I'm sorry, that's the smallest box they have." "UUUhghhghgh, I moan, just never mind I know I have a coupon at home I'll wait until I have that with me." "But baby if you're hurting like that you need these NOW!" "What?" "You need these now because you're hurting so bad." "What?"
At this point I'm really confused because what does he think tampons do? They're not some kind of miracle drug guaranteed to cure all that ails you...a necessity sure, but by no means "just what I need to feel better". Because he is obviously (even if in his "man innocence") trying to be nice and do me a favor I let all this go and just tell him to go ahead and chop off his arm and let them know I'll be there later to give them my leg.
Now that I've lost all faith in my husband's knowledge of tampons, I have to ask myself, "does he even know where they go?"
As I sit here and write this I feel like a CRAP-A-DOODLE. In case you aren't familiar with that term it technically means "feeling really crappy and probably on the brink of death".
Even though I'm pretty sure it's fairy warm outside I have my office heater on because I'm chilling. I can barely open my eyes because my head hurts and ears are popping and my throat sucks really bad. Also my back hurts, my legs and feet are throbbing and my uterus is trying to single handedly kill me. Now if that doesn't define CRAP-A-DOODLE I don't know what would.
The first symptoms were my back and uterus so I blamed my period. (Which I now don't feel is completely at fault although it surely isn't helping). Next my head, eyes and ears exploded, to which I attributed to the fact that I lost my contacts this morning and was wearing my sucky glasses. Later I got more contacts, head still exploding. Then I figured that Craig had conveniently passed his germs to me since he went to the doctor today to find out he doesn't have strep, but some type of virus. Now with my legs, feet and the chilling I'm wondering if maybe it's not my very own version of the flu...
Yuck.
I very rarely get sick so when I do I guess I'm kind of a whiner. Okay I know I'm very much a whiner. But anyway, so Craig was at walmart getting his meds and I asked him if he would pick me up a box of tampons. All the while I've been complaining of how bad I feel and the fact that everything hurts and useful trivia like that. So Craig finds the specific box that I want and I ask how much it is. "$4.57." "WHAT?! For a tiny box like that?!" Craig is now fumbling through all the tampon boxes making sure he hasn't accidentally picked up the size labeled "GIANT ECONOMY, WILL LAST UNTIL MENOPAUSE". "I'm sorry, that's the smallest box they have." "UUUhghhghgh, I moan, just never mind I know I have a coupon at home I'll wait until I have that with me." "But baby if you're hurting like that you need these NOW!" "What?" "You need these now because you're hurting so bad." "What?"
At this point I'm really confused because what does he think tampons do? They're not some kind of miracle drug guaranteed to cure all that ails you...a necessity sure, but by no means "just what I need to feel better". Because he is obviously (even if in his "man innocence") trying to be nice and do me a favor I let all this go and just tell him to go ahead and chop off his arm and let them know I'll be there later to give them my leg.
Now that I've lost all faith in my husband's knowledge of tampons, I have to ask myself, "does he even know where they go?"
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
It Just Doesn't Make Good Sense...
I received an email from a company which I had ordered checks from the last time we were out. Since we are currently out of checks again I actually opened the email to see if they were having a great internet sale...no. As it turns out IF I was a new customer I could get my 2nd box of checks for only $0.10 but since I am a recurring customer my 2nd box of checks would be a hefty $10.95! SERIOUSLY?! It's like I'm being punished for being a repeat customer...it's like the stores that give you the card with punchouts and everytime you visit you get a punchout and after you fill up your card you get a prize, except their way of rewarding you is asking you bend over so they can simultaneously kick you and post a "sucker" sign on your back...REALLY?!
So this prompted me to look for another online site to order checks from and low and behold they were having a "new customer" sale too and since I'm a new customer to them that's where I'll be ordering checks from and I'm guessing it's safe to say that from now on until the ends of our lives I will use a different check company every single time we run out of checks...
So this prompted me to look for another online site to order checks from and low and behold they were having a "new customer" sale too and since I'm a new customer to them that's where I'll be ordering checks from and I'm guessing it's safe to say that from now on until the ends of our lives I will use a different check company every single time we run out of checks...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Ability to Counterfeit Free Cat Litter Coupons at my fingertips...
Because I am so very cheap I look for online deals to sign up for various free things. One thing that I was particularly excited about was a free bag of purina cat litter. (a value up to $6.99) Woo hoo! So I filled out the form and the purina company sent me in the REGULAR MAIL a paper coupon to go redeem my prize...I was giddy with the excitement of free stuff and I was drunk on the sense of ABSOLUTE CHEAPNESS and the possibility of actually saving almost $7.00...
So I headed to walmart (yuck!). They did not carry this type of cat litter. It's okay, I consoled myself, this just meant I got to stick the coupon in my COUPON BINDER in the FREE section...I could feel myself getting excited again...
We (me, mom, cooper, angela and the most reluctant becca and her friend, heather) trekked to Ingles to scour for deals and freebies and more money saving...I found the litter-YES!!! Muwahaha! When we reached the checkout and the lowly cashier boy scanned my items and told me my total I smugly handed him my coupon which he looked at, turned over, starred at and finally called a manager...aughhhh...she handed the coupon back. (In a most nasal voice): 'I'm sorry but we don't accept internet coupons for free items." "It's not an internet coupon." She looked at it again, "looks like it and we don't take internet coupons for free items." "Ummm okay well do you take manufacturers coupons because that's what it is! The manufacturer send it to me in the MAIL." "Ma'am we cannot accept this." WHAT THE FRICK?!
Okay this coupon was literally burning a hole in my binder. Every time I opened the binder there it would be, taunting me, like saying, "I'm worth almost seven whole dollars but for some reason fate is against you and it's not meant to be and I'll just sit here and expire in this forsake binder and it will be like the evil grocery store managers won yet again!" I was determined, "No little coupon. No freebie coupon should ever die a lonely life in a binder. It should get to play out it's part in destiny and get cashed in for free product...it needs to fulfill it's purpose."
I went to J&J. I found the litter. I tentatively walked to the counter. Carefully not making eye contact with the cashier I handed her the coupon. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her biting her lip and starring hard at the coupon. Finally she looked at me. "I don't think I can take internet coupons." "It's not an internet coupon! If you can't take it fine but I swear to you the manufacturer sent it to me in the mail!" A man was working beside her. He looked at it. You can take that. "Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly. He nodded. Then she happened to flip it over and I could see the tension leave her face, "Oh look it has the security backing, now I know it's valid."
If only I had noticed before my Ingle's trek that the back of the coupon was covered in (I don't know the official name) but like water mark things that say "purina" diagonally across it then I would have most definitely pointed this out to all those who deemed me a liar and then I would have pointed out that if that coupon had indeed come from the internet and if I did in fact have a printer with the capability of creating security backed paper AND IF I had the ability to forge such document I can assure you that I would spend my time counterfeiting money NOT falsifying fake cat litter coupons...
So I headed to walmart (yuck!). They did not carry this type of cat litter. It's okay, I consoled myself, this just meant I got to stick the coupon in my COUPON BINDER in the FREE section...I could feel myself getting excited again...
We (me, mom, cooper, angela and the most reluctant becca and her friend, heather) trekked to Ingles to scour for deals and freebies and more money saving...I found the litter-YES!!! Muwahaha! When we reached the checkout and the lowly cashier boy scanned my items and told me my total I smugly handed him my coupon which he looked at, turned over, starred at and finally called a manager...aughhhh...she handed the coupon back. (In a most nasal voice): 'I'm sorry but we don't accept internet coupons for free items." "It's not an internet coupon." She looked at it again, "looks like it and we don't take internet coupons for free items." "Ummm okay well do you take manufacturers coupons because that's what it is! The manufacturer send it to me in the MAIL." "Ma'am we cannot accept this." WHAT THE FRICK?!
Okay this coupon was literally burning a hole in my binder. Every time I opened the binder there it would be, taunting me, like saying, "I'm worth almost seven whole dollars but for some reason fate is against you and it's not meant to be and I'll just sit here and expire in this forsake binder and it will be like the evil grocery store managers won yet again!" I was determined, "No little coupon. No freebie coupon should ever die a lonely life in a binder. It should get to play out it's part in destiny and get cashed in for free product...it needs to fulfill it's purpose."
I went to J&J. I found the litter. I tentatively walked to the counter. Carefully not making eye contact with the cashier I handed her the coupon. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her biting her lip and starring hard at the coupon. Finally she looked at me. "I don't think I can take internet coupons." "It's not an internet coupon! If you can't take it fine but I swear to you the manufacturer sent it to me in the mail!" A man was working beside her. He looked at it. You can take that. "Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly. He nodded. Then she happened to flip it over and I could see the tension leave her face, "Oh look it has the security backing, now I know it's valid."
If only I had noticed before my Ingle's trek that the back of the coupon was covered in (I don't know the official name) but like water mark things that say "purina" diagonally across it then I would have most definitely pointed this out to all those who deemed me a liar and then I would have pointed out that if that coupon had indeed come from the internet and if I did in fact have a printer with the capability of creating security backed paper AND IF I had the ability to forge such document I can assure you that I would spend my time counterfeiting money NOT falsifying fake cat litter coupons...
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