Steak on a Stick

When Craig suggested chinese for supper I was excited. When I called it in and found out that they had terriyaki steak I was elated. When I opened the brown bag and found steak on a stick I was confused...

Six pieces of marinated steak woven onto a long stick and cooked and then placed in a bag. Doesn't that seem like a weird entree to you? No rice, no noodles, no vegetables, just steak...on a stick...

I didn't think to ask "does it come with rice?" because at the chinese restaurant WHAT DOESN'T COME WITH RICE?!?! I mean seriously, you order sesame chicken they say "that come with RICE, you want noodle too?" You order mongolian beef and they say "you want fried RICE or steam RICE-which one for you?" You order chicken fried rice and they say "OOHH GOOD, YOU ALIKA DA RICE...WE ALIKA DA RICE...THAT COME WITH RICE..LOTS AND LOTS A RICE...RICE MAKE YOU HAPPY...RICE MAKE US RICH..." Then you order the freakin terriyaki steak and it comes on a FLIPPIN STICK with NO RICE....

I feel jipped...I feel sad and most of all I feel hungry...

I Guess You Could Say I'm Kind of the Fat Kid...

I tried a new recipe the other night. I discovered a combination of food so incredibly scrumptious, so amazingly delicious...seriously, I’m having trouble even conveying to you how wonderful this meal was...I took lil’ smokies (cocktail sausages), and wrapped them in bacon, put them on skewers, covered them with brown sugar (lots and lots of brown sugar) and baked them. (See it could have been worse, I could have fried it all...). Even so as I thought back on this almost indescribable amount of happiness on a plate I came to a realization: I May Just Be the Fat Kid...seriously. My new favorite food is PORK wrapped in PORK, covered with SUGAR...(lots of sugar).

Giving this more thought and consideration I started to remember things from my childhood that corroborated my theory on the ‘fat kid’ thing. My mom (who is completely amazing) always made my birthday cakes as a child. At about five years old she asked me what kind of cake I wanted for my upcoming b-day. I had to and gave it serious consideration. I mean this was a big decision, it involved birthday cake, that’s down right life altering to a five year old. Finally I came up with what I wanted. I wanted a cake that looked like a BIG-MAC...yeah that’s right I was all like "hhmmm how can I make CAKE even unhealthier? Oh I know, lets make it in the likeness of something else really really bad for you! How about the cholesterol riddled, fattest hamburger known to man?! "Yeah, I thought, that’ll work." And by-goodness my mom made that big mac cake and it was awesome! It was like an exact replica of a 16" hamburger. I mean seriously it was amazing. You’ve never truly lived until you’ve eaten a big mac cake made by Lorri.

And as spectacular as that cake was, vivid in my mind even today, I have to wonder if maybe, just maybe requesting a high calorie custom concoction and having it masquerade as another artery clogging, bound to kill you soon, delicacy may just make me the fat kid. Especially since this realization comes as I’m pondering my new favorite food...which just happens to be PORK, wrapped in PORK, covered in SUGAR...lots of sugar