The Ability to Counterfeit Free Cat Litter Coupons at my fingertips...

Because I am so very cheap I look for online deals to sign up for various free things. One thing that I was particularly excited about was a free bag of purina cat litter. (a value up to $6.99) Woo hoo! So I filled out the form and the purina company sent me in the REGULAR MAIL a paper coupon to go redeem my prize...I was giddy with the excitement of free stuff and I was drunk on the sense of ABSOLUTE CHEAPNESS and the possibility of actually saving almost $7.00...

So I headed to walmart (yuck!). They did not carry this type of cat litter. It's okay, I consoled myself, this just meant I got to stick the coupon in my COUPON BINDER in the FREE section...I could feel myself getting excited again...

We (me, mom, cooper, angela and the most reluctant becca and her friend, heather) trekked to Ingles to scour for deals and freebies and more money saving...I found the litter-YES!!! Muwahaha! When we reached the checkout and the lowly cashier boy scanned my items and told me my total I smugly handed him my coupon which he looked at, turned over, starred at and finally called a manager...aughhhh...she handed the coupon back. (In a most nasal voice): 'I'm sorry but we don't accept internet coupons for free items." "It's not an internet coupon." She looked at it again, "looks like it and we don't take internet coupons for free items." "Ummm okay well do you take manufacturers coupons because that's what it is! The manufacturer send it to me in the MAIL." "Ma'am we cannot accept this." WHAT THE FRICK?!

Okay this coupon was literally burning a hole in my binder. Every time I opened the binder there it would be, taunting me, like saying, "I'm worth almost seven whole dollars but for some reason fate is against you and it's not meant to be and I'll just sit here and expire in this forsake binder and it will be like the evil grocery store managers won yet again!" I was determined, "No little coupon. No freebie coupon should ever die a lonely life in a binder. It should get to play out it's part in destiny and get cashed in for free product...it needs to fulfill it's purpose."

I went to J&J. I found the litter. I tentatively walked to the counter. Carefully not making eye contact with the cashier I handed her the coupon. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her biting her lip and starring hard at the coupon. Finally she looked at me. "I don't think I can take internet coupons." "It's not an internet coupon! If you can't take it fine but I swear to you the manufacturer sent it to me in the mail!" A man was working beside her. He looked at it. You can take that. "Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly. He nodded. Then she happened to flip it over and I could see the tension leave her face, "Oh look it has the security backing, now I know it's valid."

If only I had noticed before my Ingle's trek that the back of the coupon was covered in (I don't know the official name) but like water mark things that say "purina" diagonally across it then I would have most definitely pointed this out to all those who deemed me a liar and then I would have pointed out that if that coupon had indeed come from the internet and if I did in fact have a printer with the capability of creating security backed paper AND IF I had the ability to forge such document I can assure you that I would spend my time counterfeiting money NOT falsifying fake cat litter coupons...

Apparently we're all going to die...

I just found out that my poppop, (who's 69 and just spent 3 weeks in the hospital and has a permanent indwelling catheter and cane OH and did i mention alzheimers...) yeah that one, he's on his way to go buy a MOTORCYCLE...my response was...SERIOUSLY?! REALLY?! I had to take off from work to help you get from your chair to the car so that you could go to the hospital and YOU THINK YOU CAN SAFELY RIDE A MOTORCYCLE?!

Some of my favorite responses to this newest fiasco have been:
mom (while talking to me): "Just be careful on the road today...be very very careful..."
uncle mark: "What the #$%* does he think he's going to do with a motorcycle?!"
AND THE BEST ONE YET:
angela: "PROBABLY THERE'S A REASON THAT MOTORCYCLES DON'T COME WITH A PLACE TO HOLD YOUR CANE..."

Everyone say an extra prayer today...

~shannon

since Angela says I'm a control freak...

I guess I can go ahead and share some of the other bizarre things that bother me...while texting or on the computer why must people do this:
-KEWL
-SK8ER
-L8ER
-NO (for know)
-DUNNO (don't know)
-DUM (yes you are)
-GIRLZ
-BOYZ
okay that's all for now...but L8ER iLl holla @ u boyz n girlz 2tell u whatz up and other things that annoy me and basically what yer DOIN wrong N gen'ral...k?

Straight From My Husband's Lips:

As we left church and passed the gas station he looks over and without cracking a smile, as absolutely serious as I've ever seen him he goes "I'm so glad gas is $4.00 a gallon...I just can't think of anything else I'd rather spend my money on".

Then he just waited until I finally laughed out loud and said "you are kidding, right?"

He never answered and that makes me go "hhmmmm".

Hemorrhoids and Hernias

For some reason I always confuse the two in my mind and whenever someone is talking about either for some reason I'm always picturing the other one...

How's that for random blogging...

Something in Common with Conan

well we finally reached triple digits...WOO HOO. some bloggers (like heather armstrong at http://www.dooce.com/ ) get thousands of hits a day and it takes me a half a month to reach 100...

I feel like conan o'brien, how he always says only like 10 people are watching his show...that's me. Except instead of the late late show its the show after that...you know the one where its like 3:30 am and they're selling something and you're like "why the crap am I watching this" and then you realize that it's because the remote is all the way across the room where you threw it at the cat for climbing up the wall and you think "well probably I'm not going to use this $599.99 upper body workout machine because it's 3:30 and so far I've been to lazy to get up and go to bed"...oh my bad that's actually an INFO-MERCIAL...but that's what I am.

I am the INFO-MERCIAL of blogs...

Maybe I'm just a CONTROL FREAK...

But seriously HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IT'S CHEAPER?

If I hear Craig order a mighty kid's cheeseburger meal one more time I am seriously going to loose it. Over and over again I have pointed out that it's cheaper to order a double cheeseburger, small fry and small drink and still have more food than the freakin fake "happy meal".

First of all happy meals haven't been "happy" since they took away the cardboard box and replaced it with a suck filled, environmentally friendly, paper bag. Secondly with the frick is up with "mighty kids". It's like, "KIDS, KIDS, HAPPY MEALS AREN'T BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU, BE A MIGHTY KID!" (A mighty fat kid). Not that I was a healthy kid, heck when I was four I was ordering BIG-MACS and there's nothing wrong with that but it pisses me off when my 35 year old husband pays over $4.00 for a $3.00 meal just to have it come in a bag that says "I'm a Mighty Kid"...