Thursday, January 22, 2009

COOPER-month 8!

Eight months old! Eight! It's hard to believe that in just four short months we'll start calculating your age in years...unreal...People told me it would fly by and they were right, it has. But at the same time I have enjoyed every single minute of it. Even the 3:00 am feedings!

You are still working on teeth...ugh baby teeth. I will be glad when this part of our life is over. I feel like baby teeth hate us both.

You are *almost* crawling! You do the whole getting up on your hands and knees thing but then you don't really go anywhere but BABY you are close! Everyone says I'll regret encouraging you so hard because once you become mobile there will be no stopping you!

Last week we lost one of the most important people in our lives, our nanny. I have contemplated and wrestled about what I could possibly write to you, what I could possibly try to pass on to you to tell you just how very much she loved you. I have decided that there are just simply no words. There is no way I can ever tell you, my only hope is that she instilled enough of it in me that I'll be able to pass that love on to you all the days of my life.

She was 69 years old which to you has to be ancient. Even by the time you can read this you'll think that she was the probably the oldest person to ever live but I promise you, by the time you're mommy's age you'll realize that 69 is just barely scrapping the surface of old age or the supposed golden years. For a while I struggled with this and I thought about all the people that had made it way past 69, some even into their 80's and 90's and it seemed so unfair. Like we had been robbed of precious time that was owed to us. More time for her to get to see you crawl...and walk...and talk...and grow up to be a magnificent little boy and young man. But my consolation is this: it was truly her time. She was asleep. She wasn't sick. It wasn't expected. It was sudden and it was fast and of all the ways to go it was a blessing. While she was sleeping God just whispered in her ear, "Come on home..." She didn't suffer and I can't even argue that her time was cut short because I can promise you, God always knows what he's doing.

Right after you were born your gran told me something that to this day still makes me cry. She said that right before you were born she could just picture Jesus leading you through the streets of Heaven letting you say goodbye to all the loved ones you already had up there. We talked about how you saw your papa mincey and your grampy jones and your grandpa gilleland and how they probably told you to be a good boy and that they'd "see ya after while". That image still gives me chills and no doubt, you, little one, have been in the presence of the God.

At the funeral home I thought of something else. Nanny is no longer here to hold you but she is Heaven, holding your little brother or sister. And I'm not sure when they're coming here to earth, but it's weird, it's like I know they ARE day.

Right now we're enjoying you and all of your quirks and all of your personality and all of your bubblyness. You are the happiest baby ever.

You now say "dadada" and FINALLY "mama" and "hey" and "hi" and most recently "na-na" which is close to "ma-ma" but if you listen real close you can tell the difference. And I have to believe that it's you own little way of giving a shout out to our beloved nanny.

In other news Gretchen and Joshy got engaged and are planning a wedding at the beach which will probably be your very first beach trip so that will be exciting! Getting to feel sand for the first time and wade into the ocean and pick up sea shells, I CAN HARDLY WAIT! (Which is weird because normally I hate the beach but getting to do anything with you for the very first time is SPECTACULAR and I love nothing more than to watch you explore and learn and experience).

Tomorrow is your grandpa frosty's birthday so we'll gather at grandma mincey's for food and no doubt she will have not forgotten about you and she'll most likely have sweet potatoes or peas or some other mushy food for you! You'll get all the lovin you can stand on friday night and then your mema joann is supposed to come up on saturday are going to have one awesome weekend surrounded by people that you love.

It will be fun and exciting and busy but you know what? On Sunday night when everything is over and everyone has gone home me, your daddy, your kitties and you are going to curl up on the couch and watch tv...or not...and just be together...just enjoy each other...even if the kitties are wild or your fussy or your daddy is cold or im hot, it's not going to matter because we'll be together in our own comfy home, with our own little family and we'll just be...

I love you more than I ever thought possible,

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