Wednesday, September 23, 2009


when you put you frozen dinner in the microwave and you think you hit start but then the phone rings and someone distracts you for 15 minutes asking why their daughter got arrested and then you go back to the microwave expecting warm noodley goodness and instead you have FROZEN SLUDGE. that is disappointment and that is all...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Assassination at the coke machine...

One of my duties for the next two days is running the control board that opens the electronic doors to let people in and out of the detention center and jail. Coming from the lobby to the detention center you have to pass through one door, then a sallyport that has a lockbox for weapons, then another door.

All officers are to leave their guns in the lockbox because no guns are allowed in the jail for obvious reasons.

So here's the interesting part: EVERY SINGLE TIME an officer leaves the detention center he feels the need to strap on his gun. I see it happen. Sometimes he's back in like 45 seconds (asking for me to open the freakin door again) so I can only assume he's going to the coke machine.

I know that being a law enforcement officer is exciting. It's a job that should come with respect and absolute responsibility. I realize that carrying a firearm is part of that responsibility but HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU PLAN TO SHOOT AT THE COKE MACHINE?! Seriously? REally? Do you expect there to be a revolt in the lobby? A gunfight so fierce that started over the last diet coke? Really?!

Friday, September 18, 2009


So Monday night we stayed with my mother in law which is never the most comfortable thing because while there I sleep on a love seat. Now I know what you're thinking "um isn't a love seat those little tiny couches that are like 2 feet long?" And yes, you would be correct on that but it's not really horrible because generally I curl up in a ball to sleep anyway. So normally I sleep on the love seat and Cooper sleeps in a portable crib beside me. Craig sleeps on the big couch because he's a whiner and always goes to bed first.

Well on Monday the portable crib wasn't there because someone needed it for her second SURPRISE illegitimate grandchild. (That's another story for another time).

So Joann's like "why don't you sleep on the couch with Cooper?" Ummmm yeah I don't know because maybe my butt is as friggin wide as the f-ing love seat to begin with so I fear there would be NO ROOM LEFT FOR COOPER. And by the way thanks for the heads up that the crib was no longer at your house BEFORE I left my house (which has both a bed AND a crib).

So me and Coop ended up on the floor because OH YEAH Craig had been asleep on the big couch, for I don't know, HOURS. Joann was kind enough to make us a "pallet" so I mean, what else could I ask for? So we lay down and it's all I don't know, 1000 degrees in her house so I turn two (2!) fans on in the hope that we don't spontaneously combust during the night. It was so hot at one point all I could think about was taking my pants off. And nothing says parenting at it's best than laying pantless on a pallet with your baby.

Maybe it was because we weren't at home, maybe it was because we weren't surrounded by cats and MAYBE it was because we were laying on a f-ing hard wood floor but whatever the case Cooper would not go to sleep. He was completely restless. He would thrash and kick and roll and this was completely unfortunate because every time he rolled he rolled into the wooden coffee table and every time he thrashed he managed to hit his head on the hard wood floor and every time he kicked he managed to freakin kick me.

I've always heard of people complaining about their kid moving around so much while sleeping and how they can't stand that and I've always been like I love it when Cooper moves, just one more indication that he's breathing and okay, well now I get it, NOW I FRIGGIN GET IT. It is not fun to be kicked in the head while trying to sleep.

So we made it through the night and I have never been so glad to get up early and go to the dentist because that just means that someone is probing in my mouth and causing me great pain and that indicates that the night is over and anything is better than laying pantless on hard wood while being kicked in the head.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


one year, one month, thats how old you are! how amazing is that?! you are over a year old! we have known you for over a year! you have gotten to experience every single month, every single season and every single holiday, ONCE! you are awesome and i thank God for you, little one. we are blessed through you.

you have an attitude now. a very distinct attitude. and also you throw temper tantrums...horrid i know, but still i love it! because it's!

you have a playful spirit and im pretty sure you're going to grow up to be a tease...last night you kept running toward your daddy and you'd hold your little arms up for him to get you. once he picked you up, you'd squirm to get down. then you'd do it all over again. after about the third time when you came running up to craig he said, "i bet he's going to want me to pick him up". well you got to him, you started to hold your arms up and then you said "NO!" and turned around and went to other way. you proceeded to do this until we were cracking up laughing hysterically!

we have so much fun, the six of us (you, me, your daddy, jay-jay, mercy and dudley). sometimes we all curl up together and watch a movie...these are my favorite nights.

you eat real food now. (hamburgers and spaghetti are among your favorites, i knew you were my kid)!

you drink from a straw now!

you say "please" which comes out "pes" when you really, really want something. (and i mean, seriously, who could say no to that)?!

you are full of energy, excited about everything and you have a zest for life. i love you my darling! my sweet, precious baby boy, everyday i count the hours until i get to be with you again, to hold you, to play with you and to just enjoy being your mama.

love you,
your mommy

Thursday, May 28, 2009


So i have completely, utterly and without a doubt dropped the ball on blogging...BUT i must pick it back up because you, my baby, are growing, GROWING, GROWING too fast and if i dont try and write it down now i'll never ever remember it all!

You are no longer an infant. You have passed that stage in your life. You can now be considered a toddler!!! Im loving it, every minute of it! You are seriously more fun now than ever!

You walk. Seriously, like all by yourself. Sometimes it's just 2 or 3 steps but sometimes you really get going and you make it half way across the room, then you collapse and resort to hysterical laughter! It's the best!

You talk. And sing. Mostly it's in your own language but that's okay because it's beautiful anyway!

You have 5 baby teeth! wow! You are definitely making up for lost time on the teeth thing!

We had your 1st bday party and it was awesome! You wore your tux and we decorated your high chair with balloons and you had a crown and your very own cake and AUAHGHGHGHG too much fun! You had a TABLE FULL of presents! So many that we are getting them out one at a time so you aren't overwhelmed.

But you know what my very favorite part of the day was? After everyone had left we took your new things home, unloaded them and then went back to the fellowship hall to clean up. So it was just me, your daddy and you all alone at the fellowship hall. We vacuumed and you chased the vacuum cleaner! You loved the wide open space to walk, crawl, run and flail about. You were totally content to stay there and play with us and that vacuum cleaner all night! We had a ball, just the three of us! Then we went home and sat on the couch and played with your 3 kitty sisters, life just doesn't get much better than that!

This year has without a doubt been the most exhilarating, most trying, most learning and finally the absolute best year of our lives. God changed our hearts when He gave us you. I never ever knew I could love another person as much as I love you. I never thought it was possible to want to give another human being so much of yourself that it hurts. You complete us, you make us a family and we love you more than you'll ever begin to know...thank you for the best year ever and I can't wait to start the next chapter!

Love you my little Cooper Douper!

your mommy

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

COOPER month 10...AND month 11...

So pretty much I have sucked lately at this blogging thing. I blame you and all of your cuteness and the fact that I want to spend every waking moment with you, not on the computer! But years from now when you're reading about your young life and you question why I combined month 10 and month 11 basically I'll have no good answer...

It's sad too because I don't even remember what all you were doing last month because this month you've totally mastered all these new skills and you've overwhelmed us with your abilities!

Now you can drink from a sippy cup. At first I thought you didn't understand how it worked. I tried it with juice...then water...then a different kind of juice and you just didn't act like you could get any so I gave up...then in good mommy fashion I tried it with guzzled it...then I tried tea and you gulped the whole thing down so BASICALLY you fooled your knew exactly HOW to use the cup you were just waiting for something that you actually liked in it...

You can stand alone now! You still haven't taken any steps (at least none that I know about, who knows, maybe you walk around at ms. karen's and your gran's) but in my presense you only stand there all balancing, all adorable and melt my heart!

You now say "hey" and throw your little hand up in greeting but because you're a little country boy it comes out sounding like "hiiaaaayyyy" your daddy called you his little nasal redneck. IT IS HILARIOUS!

You love to torment the cats by laying on the couch and then grabbing them as they walk by. You never tire of this game...thats more than I can say for the cats...

Your most used form of mobility is crawling...FAST. Grandma made the comment that you could crawl faster than she could walk!

You now open cabinets and shut them. Open and shut. Open and shut. Another game you love.

Your grandpa frosty and your daddy are still your favorite people on the whole planet...

Next month is your very first birthday and I am super excited about planning your party! I can't wait. But I'm also a little sad because you're growing soooo fast! This time last year you were still in your mommy's tummy! I can only say that for a few more days and then you'll officially be a big boy, no more infant! But good Lord how I love you, my little boy. I could never explain it...I could never portray it...I just have to hope and pray that I show you every single day how I couldn't live without you. You complete us...

Happy almost birthday my big boy Cooper!
your mommy

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

the one where i die a little on the inside

Yeah so ummm....yeah...

Cooper last night you pretty much broke your mommy's heart and then took the pieces and then you just stomped on them with your tiny baby feet.

We went to karate with your daddy and ms. karen was there and so you reached for her. Okay no big deal, so you wanted to tell her hey. I didn't panick. I felt a twinge of jealousy but it passed.

So then when she was ready to leave she handed you back to me AND YOU CRIED. While she was placing you (MY BABY) into my arms (me, THE ONE WHO CARRIED YOU FOR ALL OF NINE MONTHS), you cried and you reached back for her and THEN, RIGHT THERE, you took my will to live and crushed it and pretty much kicked my soul.

I mean when you're reading this years down the road don't feel bad or anything...don't feel bad that I did my best to give you all the good things in life...yummy moo, nice toys and all the cats you could ever hope for...and what you did to thank me was crush me a little on the inside...

I love you anyway my little sweet potato!

your (one and only) mommy