Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Sliver of Chance for Life on Mars REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?!

"A Sliver of Chance for Life on Mars" This was the title to one of the featured news stories on yahoo today. The article goes on to say that because at night a PHENOMENON happens when some of the water vapor in the atmosphere evaporates and creates dew...DEW...and apparently this means at one time this "dew" could have supported life in a martian climate.

You know what? I couldn't give a TINY RAT'S DO-DO MAKER (thank you elliot) if there is life on mars, if there WAS life on mars of even if there is going to be life on mars eventually. What pisses me off is that there is PLENTY OF LIFE ON EARTH AND THEY'RE STARVING!

Nasa has spent almost a year on this mars/dew theory.

They have a special instrument they've been using: (see quote from article):
[The TECP "was like the Swiss army knife of instruments," says Aaron Zent of NASA Ames Research Center. It was equipped with a four-pronged fork that could be stuck into the ground to measure soil moisture and temperature. It also had a sensor for relative humidity.]

Hell, couldn't they have just stuck their hand in the soil to see if it was wet or not?

I won't harp on my opinions of the wasted money going to the space program but I will leave you with this note:

NEXT TIME INSTEAD OF SPENDING A YEAR, CREATING SPECIAL INSTRUMENTS AND WASTING BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO COME WITH A CONCLUSION AS GOOD AS "A SLIVER OF CHANCE FOR LIFE ON MARS" HOW ABOUT WE TAKE THAT MONEY, THAT KNOWLEDGE AND THAT WORK FORCE AND USE IT TOWARD:

~FEEDING THE HUNGRY CHILDREN? WHAT IF WE WENT TO BED AT NIGHT AND KNEW EVERYONE WAS AS FULL AS WE WERE?

~HOW ABOUT WE REBUILD HOMES AND HABITATS. WHAT IF "THE HOMELESS" BECAME THE NEWEST ENDANGERED SPECIES BECAUSE THEY FOUND HOMES?

~WHAT IF WE USED MIGHTY RESOURCES AND CREATED JOBS FOR THE UNEMPLOYED. WHAT IF WE HAD TO COME UP WITH NEW JOBS FOR THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE WORKERS?

~WHAT IF WE CONCENTRATED ON WORKING TOWARD A SOLUTION TO FERTILITY AND ABORTION...WHAT IF WE DISCOVERED A WAY TO TAKE AN ALREADY IMPLANTED EMBRYO OUT OF A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T WANT IT AND PUT IT INTO A WOMAN DESPERATE FOR A CHILD? HOW MANY WOMEN WOULD BE WILLING TO DO THIS INSTEAD OF DESTROYING HUMAN LIFE? HOW MANY LIVES WOULD IT SAVE?

I don't know if there was ever life on mars. I know there's life on earth. Precious life that is too easily discarded, so...."sliver of chance"...how about a new title "LIFE ON EARTH? YOU BETCHA!"

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

If i choke to death while typing this...

marie is not here today. she had a conference to go to. her absence was most noticed when i made my ham sandwich and realized that i didnt have a drink to go with it. (because every single day marie brings me a drink from dipper's).

so...against my better judgement (because i am so very cheap), i scrounge the change together to go get a coke out of the machine. i have what i believe to be barely enough. on the way to the coke machine i pass the snack machine. i make the mistake of glancing it's way. FRICK ON A STICK, THEY HAVE SOUR CREAM AND ONION CHIPS! they never have SOUR CREAM AND ONION! i nervously look at the change in my hand. there is a decision to be made and...yep thats right, i am just that fat, i went with the chips!

now you're probably saying, "wait, but wern't you concerned with needing a drink when it was just the sandwich? now you're planning on chips too and you still dont have a beverage? is that smart?" but you don't understand, they're SOUR CREAM AND ONION! so i take the plunge and put my money in and push B4....it whirls and whirls and...my SOUR CREAM AND ONION gets stuck on the mechanism...i mentally stomp my foot and consider trying to rock the machine until i remember all the horror stories of people being squashed under machines they were trying to rock for things less than SOUR CREAM AND ONION even...

i silently and defeatedly walk back to my office. i have no more change. i have no drink and i have no SOUR CREAM AND ONION. then i have a PLAN! i cant get into marie's office because it's locked but if i could find a master key...she always has change laying around and she always tells me i can help myself if i need some for the machine...so...i go on a hunt for a master key. most people at this point would have just given up but I AM JUST THAT FAT.

so i finally find an important person with a key and i break in. i steal enough change (with a mental I.O.U.), to not only ransom my SOUR CREAM AND ONION but to also get an icy cold beverage. i lock the door, return the key and head back out. i go to the coke machine. i have $1.10 in change. the chips are $0.50 and the cokes are $0.60 cents (or so i thought).

i stare at the coke machine. SIXTY FIVE EFFING CENTS. if i spend 65 cents i'll not have enough for the chips...BEAVER DAMMMMMMMMM IT!!!!!!!!! so i did the only logical thing to do, i forgot the coke, and bought the chips and since i already had a bag hanging in the balance i got two. 2 BAGS OF SOUR CREAM AND ONION!

i was giddy happy until i remembered that it meant that i had a ham sandwich and 2 bags of chips and still no drink...not a very good combination for NOT choking...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

standing...

So now you can stand up! You STAND on your VERY OWN TWO LEGS. Standing Up.

On valentine's day you crawled (really crawled) for the first time. Then we took you home and I put you in a rubbermaid container (sounds cruel but you love it), and OBVIOUSLY I don't put the lid on it.

Anyway so I put you in this box and give you some toys and go about making dinner. I glance over and FRICKY FRICK, YOU'RE STANDING UP! I was like, "OH MY GOSH, COOPER YOU'RE STANDING UP." You gave me a look like, "yeah..." So I figure it's this freak thing (because who would guess that the same day that you crawled would also be the day you started all freakin walking around?) So anyway I set you back down and you're all like, "OH NO, YOU DIDN'T" So I turn around to look at supper again and as fast as I can turn around you're standing again! You pudgy little hands are curled around the top of the container and your chubby legs are ridgidly standing in triumph and you're peering over the side of the box, looking at the world below.

This happens like I don't know, FOURTEEN MILLION times and even though I am truly excited and gleeful I have a realization: you are no longer containable...there is no where that I can put you and then expect you to be when I come back.

Your very own journey has now began...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

You Know You Have a Problem When...

I am admittedly cheap. Everyone who knows me knows this. I love a good bargain and my heart leaps at the word "CLEARANCE".

I was looking through the petco sales paper just now and on the back page I saw parakeets advertised for ONLY $12.00! And my first thought was "crap, that's cheap, I may need to get some..."

It was then that I realized that I was talking about PARAKEETS. LIVE BIRDS. Do I want birds? No. Do I have any desire to house them? Absolutely not. But I was still so shaken by their "rock bottom price" that I, for a fleeting second, I considered stocking up...

It was then that I had a realization, I May Just Have a Problem...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009