Thursday, October 16, 2008

Do you even know where THAT goes?!

(a post from yesterday)

As I sit here and write this I feel like a CRAP-A-DOODLE. In case you aren't familiar with that term it technically means "feeling really crappy and probably on the brink of death".


Even though I'm pretty sure it's fairy warm outside I have my office heater on because I'm chilling. I can barely open my eyes because my head hurts and ears are popping and my throat sucks really bad. Also my back hurts, my legs and feet are throbbing and my uterus is trying to single handedly kill me. Now if that doesn't define CRAP-A-DOODLE I don't know what would.


The first symptoms were my back and uterus so I blamed my period. (Which I now don't feel is completely at fault although it surely isn't helping). Next my head, eyes and ears exploded, to which I attributed to the fact that I lost my contacts this morning and was wearing my sucky glasses. Later I got more contacts, head still exploding. Then I figured that Craig had conveniently passed his germs to me since he went to the doctor today to find out he doesn't have strep, but some type of virus. Now with my legs, feet and the chilling I'm wondering if maybe it's not my very own version of the flu...


Yuck.


I very rarely get sick so when I do I guess I'm kind of a whiner. Okay I know I'm very much a whiner. But anyway, so Craig was at walmart getting his meds and I asked him if he would pick me up a box of tampons. All the while I've been complaining of how bad I feel and the fact that everything hurts and useful trivia like that. So Craig finds the specific box that I want and I ask how much it is. "$4.57." "WHAT?! For a tiny box like that?!" Craig is now fumbling through all the tampon boxes making sure he hasn't accidentally picked up the size labeled "GIANT ECONOMY, WILL LAST UNTIL MENOPAUSE". "I'm sorry, that's the smallest box they have." "UUUhghhghgh, I moan, just never mind I know I have a coupon at home I'll wait until I have that with me." "But baby if you're hurting like that you need these NOW!" "What?" "You need these now because you're hurting so bad." "What?"


At this point I'm really confused because what does he think tampons do? They're not some kind of miracle drug guaranteed to cure all that ails you...a necessity sure, but by no means "just what I need to feel better". Because he is obviously (even if in his "man innocence") trying to be nice and do me a favor I let all this go and just tell him to go ahead and chop off his arm and let them know I'll be there later to give them my leg.

Now that I've lost all faith in my husband's knowledge of tampons, I have to ask myself, "does he even know where they go?"

3 comments:

Sheryl Gaddis said...

Oh my goodness, this is too funny. I am dying laughing because it is a typical man response.

Lorri said...

That was hilarious! I laughed until I cried--quietly, so I wouldn't wake anybody up!

Courtney said...

"...LAST UNTIL MENOPAUSE." Love it!